Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Savaşın "yan etkileri" ve İstanbul'un zalim yüzü...


Öncelikle mesajımı iletmekte yardımcı olduğu için ve ingilizceden türkçeye çeviri için Cenk Aydin’a teşekkür etmek istiyorum. :)


Önceki yazılarımda, plansız bir şekilde, kendimi nasıl Istanbul’da yaşarken bulduğumu anlattım.


Bu yazımda, birden bire kendinizi dilini bile konuşamadığınız ve çalışmak için izninizin olmadığı bir ülkede bulmanın nasıl bir şey olduğunu anlatacağım.


İstanbul’da planladığım tatil süresi sona erdiğinde ve Suriye’ye geri dönmek istediğimde, dönemedim! Suriye - Türkiye sınırı iki taraflı olmak üzere kapatılmıştı (3 ay sonra öğrendim ki aslında sınırlar sadece birkaç günlüğüne, kara yoluna kapatılmıştı, ne diyeyim “Medya” sağ olsun!). Sadece üç gün konaklayacağımı söylediğim “Sırp seyahat kulübü” yetkililerine ülkeyi terk edemediğimi söylemek çok utanç vericiydi. Kulübün mümkün olduğunca çok gezgin’e ücretsiz konaklama sağlayabilmesi için maksimum 5 gün ücretsiz konaklama politikası vardı. Şimdi kendi hakkımı aşıyor ve başkalarının hakkını da sıkıntıya soktuğum için aşırı derece rahatsız oluyordum.


Eve denmenin mümkün olmadığını anladığım ilk hafta gerçekten çok kötüydü. Sonraki günleri, haberleri takip ederek, ne zaman geri dönebileceğimi kestirmeye çalışarak geçirdim. Ve tabi ki ailemden bir haber almak için bekledim, en azından hala hayatta olduklarına dair bir haber. Fakat bazen günlerce süren elektrik kesintileri yüzünden Aleppo’dan haber almak neredeyse imkansızdı. Ayrıca haftalar süren telefon ve Internet kesintisi vardı. Kendimi çaresiz hissettim ve Suriye’de kalan ailem ve arkadaşlarım için çok karamsardım.
Ve de en kötüsü hiç param yoktu. Daha önce söylediğim gibi, burada kalmayı planlamamıştım ve dolayısıyla yanıma fazla para almamıştım.


Tabi ki başka birçok kişinin de para sıkıntısı var. Ama onların çoğu kendilerine tamamen yabancı bir ülkede bir başlarına değiller.


Yiyecek bir şeyler bulmak problemlerin içinde en hafif olanıydı. Açlığımı yatıştıracak, bulabildiğim en ucuz şeyleri alıyordum. Çoğu zamanda öğünleri atlıyordum.


3 ayda 15 kilo verdim.


Bazen öğle yemeğim bir parça ekmek ve bir bardak ayrandı. Meyva mı? Unutun gitsin.


Allah’tan bu durum fazla sürmedi. Ramazan ayı yakındı ve bu Türk hükümetinin her gün iftar vakti bedava yiyecek ve su vereceği anlamına geliyordu.


Yol parası vermemek için, her gün, gidiş geliş toplam 11 km (Google maps’e göre), yürüyerek iftar çadırına gittim geldim.
Arta kalan yemekleri toplamak benim için çok tuhaf ve utanç vericiydi. Fakat bir şeyler yemeliydim ve  insanlardan para dilenmekten iyiydi en azından. Kimseden bir şey istemedim sadece masaları temizliyormuş gibi yaparak artık yemekleri topladım.
Bu şekilde neredeyse hiç para harcamadan bir ayı geride bırakmıştım. “Seyahat kulübü”nden bedava konaklama ve devletten bedava yemek: Zordu, fakat çevremdeki iyi insanlar ve “Seyahat kulübü” yetkilileri sayesinde bunu başarmak benim için daha kolaydı.
“Seyahat kulübü”nden defalarca kez hakkım olan üç günden fazla kaldığım için özür diledikten sonra, bana proje bitimi olan yaz sonuna kadar, yani iki ay daha kalabileceğimi söylediler.


İlk ayımda her gün, sınırların tekrar açılacağını ümit ederek, haberleri takip ettim.


Fakat birkaç haftadan sonra ümidimi kaybettim. İçinde bulunduğum durumu kabullenmekten ve bir gelir kaynağı aramaktan başka hiçbir şansımın olmadığını hissettim.


Bilgisayar konusunda tecrübeli olduğumdan büyük alışveriş merkezlerinde ve zincir bilişim teknolojileri mağazalarında iş aramaya başladım. Suriye’de bilişim uzmanı olarak yarı zamanlı çalışıyordum. Fakat Türkiye’de bambaşka bir durum vardı. Alışveriş merkezlerini ve bilişim mağazalarını gezdikten sonra anladım ki Türkçe bilmeden ve TC vatandaşlık numarası veya çalışma izni (almanın neredeyse imkansız olduğu ve 1.700 - 3.000 dolar maliyetli) olmadan Türkiye’de iş bulmak imkansızdı.


İki gün boyunca bu koca şehirde yürüyerek iş aradıktan sonra anladım ki Suriye’deki çalışma şartlarıma yakın bir iş bulmam artık mümkün değildi. Beklentilerimi düşürdüm ve restoran, çiçekçi, pizzacı, kafe, süpermarket ve internet kafelerde herhangi bir iş aramaya başladım. Bulaşıkçılık, temizlikçilik, aşçılık, ne olursa! (Bu arada tabi ki iftar çadırına da iş başvurusunda bulundum, gülüp geçtiler ve fazla ciddiye almadılar)
Bir süre sonra iş aradığım her yerden aynı olumsuz cevabı almaya alışmıştım. Bana “ne yapabilirsin?“ diye soruyorlardı, bende onlara bilgisayar mühendisliği okuduğumu söylüyordum. Ne tür bir iş aradığımı soruyorlardı, bende “ne olursa” diye cevaplıyordum. “üzgünüz, sana göre bir işimiz yok” diyorlardı.


Çok zordu, hayatım boyunca hiç yaşamadığım bir duyguydu. Ve sorun para değildi. Beni zaman zaman maddi anlamda beni destekleyen arkadaşlarım vardı.


Fakat ben evde oturarak, dışarıdan yardımla geçinmeğe hiç alışkın biri değildim. Birinden para istemek benim için çok zor. Bu yüzden çoğu zaman cebimde sadece cips ve kola alacak kadar param oldu.


Evet, gerçekten zordu. Sokakta işini yapan çöpçüleri bile imrenir oldum. Sokakta sigara içen insanları imreniyordum; “tabi ya, sigara alabildiklerine göre kesin işleri de vardır” diye içimden geçiyordu.


Fakat yapabileceğim hiçbir şey yoktu.


Günler geçmişti, yaz bitmişti ve “Sırp seyahat kulübü”nün kapanması gerekiyordu. Yani taşınmak gerekiyordu. Kulüp yetkilileri çok iyiydi ve bana onlarla birlikte Sırbistan’a gelmemi teklif ettiler. Prosedürü öğrenmek için beraber Sırp konsolosluğuna gittik. Çok kolay ve mümkün olduğunu öğrenince uzun zamandan sonra ilk defa kendimi güvende hissettim. Sonunda eğer İstanbul’da iş bulamazsam uygulayabileceğim bir planım vardı. Sokakta yatmak zorunda kalmayacaktım.


Ve “kulübü” kapattılar ve artık taşınmam gerekiyordu…


Bu kocaman şehirde tek başıma yaşamam gerekiyordu. Arkadaşsız, kimseyi ziyaret etmeden veya aramadan, konuşmadan. İnsanların kafelerde oturup, sohbet ettiklerini, güldüklerini görmek beni üzer hala gelmişti. “Sırp seyahat kulübü” ile ayrıldıktan sonra günler boyunca tek başıma kalmıştım.
Benim için son derece kötü bir histi, bir çok sebepten ötürü. Sonraki yazılarımda bunlara yer vereceğim...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The "Side-effects" of the war, And the Cruel Face of Istanbul:





First of all, let me thank my friend Justin Cannon for  helping me to review this post, and correct any English mistakes. :)

In previous posts, I spoke about how I ended up living in Istanbul without ever planning to.

In this post, I am going to explain a bit about what that was like, to suddenly be in a different country in which you don’t speak the language, and you can’t work legally to support yourself.

When I finished my planned vacation and the time finally came for me to leave Istanbul to return to Syria, I couldn't  The borders on both the Syrian and Turkish side were closed (though, I found out three months later that the crossing was only closed for a few days to cars - not people - but what can I say? Media!). Since I had told the founders of the Serbian Travel Club at which I was staying that I was only staying for three days, It was really embarrassing for me to tell them that, in fact, I couldn't leave. The club has a maximum five day policy in order to offer free accommodation to as many travelers as possible, so I felt that I had exhausted my opportunity and now was infringing on others’ as well.

The first week after I surrendered to the idea that I couldn't just go back home was horrible. I spent my days reading the news, trying to figure out when I would finally have the chance to return. I also waited for news from my family to at least know that they were still alive, but that was impossible since there was no electricity in Aleppo - sometimes for days at a time. There were Internet and cell phone outages for weeks. So I felt isolated, alone, and completely in the dark about the situation of my family and friends back in Syria.

And to make matters worse, I had no money. As I said before, I wasn't planning on staying here, so I didn't have much money on me.

Sure, plenty of people have their own money problems. But they’re not in a foreign country on their own.

Buying food was the easiest problem to manage. I used to buy only the cheapest things that could fill my stomach. Several times, I skipped meals to save money.

I lost 15 kg in a matter of three months.

Sometimes, lunch was a piece of bread and a glass of ayran. Fruit? Forget it.

Luckily, this didn't last long. Ramadan was near which meant the Turkish government would soon offer free food and water during “iftar” (the period at the end of fasting) each day.

I went there on foot every day, traveling 11km both ways (according to Google Earth) to save on transportation money.

It was very strange for me, and I felt ashamed when I collected the left-overs. But I must survive, and at least it’s easier than asking people for money. I wouldn't ask anyone; I would just take the left-overs while I pretended to be cleaning.

So, this is how I manage to survive the first month while spending almost no money. Free accommodation from the Travel Club and free food from the government. It was difficult, but being surrounded by all the nice people in the Travel Club, especially the founders, made it easier for me.

After apologizing a few times that I was overstaying my welcome at the club, they told me I could stay for the two months, which is as long as the Travel club project lasted.

That first month, I read the news every day, hoping and waiting to hear that the borders were open and functional.

But after several weeks of waiting, I lost hope. I felt that I had no choice but to accept my current situation and start looking for a source of income.

I started looking for a job in big shopping malls and computer chain stores, since I’m experience in computer-related stuff. I was a part-time IT consultant, IT manager, and maintenance contractor back in Syria. But here in Turkey, it’s a different story. After visiting the malls and the computer stores, I understood that without being able to speak Turkish or having a Turkish National ID number and job permit (which is almost impossible to get and costs between 1700 and 3000 dollars), it’s impossible for a guy like me to get a job here.

So, after two days of walking on foot all around this big city looking for a job, I was sure what I wasn’t going to be able to find the same standard of job that I used to have in Syria. I started lowering my expectation and started visiting restaurants, flower stores, pizza shops, cafes, supermarkets, and Internet cafes asking for anything. Dish-washing, cleaning, food preparation, anything! (By the way, yes, I asked the workers at the “iftar place” if they could give me a job. You guessed it, they laughed and said no, thinking I was some sort of stranger tourist, crazy and joking, I guess?)


After awhile, it wasn't insulting anymore to be asked the same questions and receiving the same answers over and over again, in every place I searched for a job. They asked, “What can you do?” I’d say I was a computer engineer and technician. “What kind of job are you looking for?” Anything available, I’d reply. “Ha, sorry. We have no job for you.”

It was very difficult. I’d never had such feeling in my entire life. And it wasn't about the money. My friends were supporting me, and I had money transferred to me from time to time.

But I’m not used to taking charity and sitting at home. I’m not that kind of person. It’s hard for me to ask for money from anyone. So, often, I had only a few coins in my pocket - enough to buy some chips and a can of cola.

Yeah, it was very difficult. I even started to envy scavengers when I would see them at their work. I started to envy people that I’d see smoking in the streets. I started to think, “Oh. . . they buy cigarettes. They must have a job!”

But I couldn't do anything about it.

The days were passing me by, and the time had come for the Serbian Travel Club to close. So I had to move out. The founders of the Club were very nice and offered that I travel with them to Serbia. We went together to the Serbian Consulate in Istanbul to ask about the procedure. They said it was very easy and definitely possible, so for the first time in a long time, I felt secure. Finally, I had a plan in case I couldn't find a job or place to stay. I wouldn't have to sleep on the streets.

And, sure enough, the project finished. They had to close the club, and I had to move out. . .

I had to stay alone in this huge city - without friends, without anyone to visit or call or speak with. I started feeling sad when I saw people laughing, sitting in cafes, joking and conversing. I was all alone for days and days after leaving the Club.


It was a very awful and sad feeling for me, for many reasons which I will explain in my next posts. . .


From a Syrian who's living in Istanbul, With love.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Going out of Syria

Hello again,

in this post, am going to speak about how  i ended up living in Istanbul, am i a Refugee ?

before the war, back in 2009 , i used to come to Turkey for tourism every now and then, Because it's quite near, and i don't need a Visa to come here (Trust me, for Syrian people, it's so hard to get Visa any where, so many Syrians, including me, gave up the idea of applying to get European visa for example), and with the low Salaries  in Syria, the big majority of people can't afford traveling so far away from Syria.

so, for me, this trip was no difference from the previous trip before the Syrian crisis begins.

to be honest, it was a little bit different, because i really needed to go out of Syria, to relax a bit, and to live peacefully for some time, away from the bombs and the Voices of rockets that the Syrian regime fires, i used to set in my room (with electricity outage for most of the day) hearing the voices of the Canons firing, and hearing the sound of the explosion afterwards, when the canon bullets hits the gourd.and knowing for sure that many civilians  are dead or dying because of those bombs (yes, Children, women and elders are included too !), and not to mention the fighter jets, and the helicopters but , i couldn't do anything toward that.

so, the first thing i did after finishing my exams at the uni, is packing my luggage, and traveling.

and as i said in the first post, i was not planning to stay here, i was planning to stay here for 2 weeks maximum, but I've been here since the last 8 months (almost).

and because i was not planning to stay that long, i did not have the enough money for such a long period of time, because i did not even know or want to stay here .

how did i manage to survive?

when i came to Turkey, at first i went to Ankara, and i wanted to try CouchSurfing  for the first time, so i posted a request and one Turkish guy hosted me, his name is Mahmut Dinçkal, it was a great great experience for me, so when i came to Istanbul, i stayed for few days in a hotel, and then decided to send another CouchSurfing request, but because my Profile was not Complete, no one replied to me but Lazar pascanovic, a great guy from Serbia, he was here in Istanbul, and he is one of the founders of the Serbia Travel Club , (i will not speak much about the club and my experience there, because it deserve an individual post, which am going to post it later).

in short, Serbia travel club, is open for travelers from all over the world to stay there for free, for maximum 5 days policy.

i stayed at there for 2 months.
at first, i sent a 2-nights request, and they hosted me, while i was there, the Syrian-Turkish borders got closed , and i couldn't go back to Syria, so, they decided that i can stay at there place.
i don't know if they allowed me to stay there for 2 months because i couldn't go back , or because we liked each other and we get along well (or may be because of the 2 reasons together :D ), in either reason , am really so so so  Thankful for them :).

as you can see, the borders got closed, and i couldn't go back, it was something that i did not expect, and something that i was not prepared for, i even bought few presents for my family to give them when i get back.

so, am not a Refugee (or may be it's more right to say i WAS not, but now i feel that i am!), i did not escape from Syria, although sometimes i consider my self lucky enough to be out of Syria, when i see and hear of how many Syrians are trying to go out from Syria, and they fail, or get killed trying.

this is how i ended up living here in Turkey.
in Future posts, i will try to give you more detailed idea on how is it like to have a war going in your country, how is it like to be suddenly living in a foreign country without a job, and without a sources of income.



From Syrian who's living in Istanbul, With love.

Friday, February 22, 2013

My "Hello world!" post!

Hello world!
my very first post!
(Mr.Vinicius thank you so so much for all the support and help you offered to me, and for all the empathy you showed, and for caring and trying to help, without your nice words, and without your encouragement to me , this blog was NOT going to be exist)

First of all, excuse my bad English, English is my 2nd language, and am really terrified of writing, but i want to try any way.

who am i ?
i am Syrian, 25 Years old, from Aleppo city, Syria.

i was studying Computer engineering in Aleppo University  ,Syria. and i had finished 4 years and need one more year to graduate, Unfortunately, now am Unable to continue my studies because of the Crisis that's going there.

now i live in Istanbul, Turkey (since almost 8 months actually).

i had really dreamed of living in Istanbul before, since the first time i had visited it back in 2009 (if you visited Istanbul before, you will know what i mean) , and now, My dream came true ! and i already live here !! how cool is that !

it's cool, and not cool at the same time. it's cool because Istanbul is AMAZING city to live in.

so why it's not cool ? this is a long long long story, and i will post it later, because i don't want this post to get messy, all am going to say now is, i kinda got stuck in here, and my 2 weeks summer trip plan, changed to Surviving game which i live every day.

To be Continued ....
:)
From Syrian who's living in Istanbul, With love.